Labour of Love

Let's re-think our homemaking...

Oct 27, 2020

The best things in life are priceless! Yet we’re so busy crunching-up numbers that we take everything else for granted! Look at the macro-level GDP numbers and you see, there is a lot of unaccounted work excluded from it. Enter a typical Indian family and ask about the finances, in majority cases, you’ll hear a depiction of how the father sheds his sweat to earn the bread. Either case, you’d have ignored a parallel world without which the economy and the family is dysfunctional, that’s — The Care Economy.

Everything — from housekeeping, shopping, cooking, raising children, to attending the old and sickly — you can’t imagine a functional globe without someone undertaking all these responsibilities! For most of us — there’s our Supermom, the Homemaker, managing these stuff, without any remuneration! And as C.S. Lewis puts it — “Homemaking is surely in reality the most important work in the world. What do ships, railways, mines, cars, government, etc. exist for except that people may be fed, warmed, and safe in their own homes? The homemaker’s job is one for which all other’s exist.”

But ‘the cult of domesticity’ has given rise to the stereotyped norms of husband being the ‘breadwinner’ and wife being the ‘homemaker’ — as reported that globally, more than 75% of the domestic work is done by women everyday! And in India, the case is worse, where a man puts in 90 minutes of domestic work daily whereas a woman does it for over 5 hours! And this pandemic might only make things worse! You see, what does this pandemic demand? More caution. What the sick and elderly need? A little more care. What does an online-tutored child require? Looking after. So, one of the parents has to take a hit and stay back. And usually, it’s the mother!

And this doesn’t bode well for her! Note that every extra hour of ‘labour of love’ is essentially an hour sacrificed, that could’ve been better self-invested, in education or to earn a living! I precisely remember how my mother (a homemaker) keeps telling me that her eagerness to learn computer was knocked-off after her wedding, owing to family responsibilities! And with years, her enthusiasm too has faded away! Is this how dreams are destined to end up being? How fair is that?! ILO estimates that 41% of women are unemployed because of these care responsibilities! And witness the Indian misfortune, here —

Well, what if we could turnaround the situation? Want numbers, eh? If you account for all these care work by our mothers, Women Labor Participation Rate could go as high as 86.2%, more than thrice the current rates, even higher than that of men (79.8%). A study notes… if women spent less time on these care work, they would add US$ 300 Billion to India’s GDP and equating the participation rates with men can boost the GDP by even 27%! Never imagined, right?

Enough of figures. We need to introspect — what’s holding them back??

The first impediment is that things aren’t so hunky-dory for women in the workforce! Here’s an excerpt from an article — “With more than 60% of women employed in the informal sector, according to the PAC study, options like working from home and virtual workspaces are not viable. These economies already operate in a cycle of poor wages, discrimination and poor working conditions. They will simply do away with female employees.” You see, when it comes to taking decisions, as a couple, as in who stays back home and who goes for work, the obvious thing to consider is earnings. And if gender-based unequal pay and discrimination prevails (which exhibits a very disturbing figure in India), we can’t expect things improving for women any time soon!

The second obstacle is hesitation among employers to hire women! Take for example, mandating 26 week’s maternity leave for women and making it voluntary for men, sounds great as the mother needs to be by the infant fostering him/her. But ouch, this gives rise to yet another employers’ bias who are seen to be reluctant to hire women who're planning to bear children! Laws like this reinforce the notion of women being primary caretakers, which is clearly — a motherhood penalty! Moreover, women have to juggle between paid work and care responsibilities, thus limiting their working hours. Add to this… India’s shameful scenario of women safety, and that explains the whole women-finding-it-difficult-to-enter-the-workforce-thing! And when financial difficulties pile up, domestic violence inevitably follows!

Ergo, it’s high time to raise the alarm! We can’t let their freedom to be a silent victim of the pandemic. Time to stop the care drain! Can’t we contribute our bit to rejig the status quo? Can’t we provide our mothers and sisters the independence that they absolutely deserve? Yes, we can, and how’s that?? Well, here’s a 5R formula for the same —

Recognition — taking unpaid care work into account in analysis and policy-making, including recognition of social norms and gender stereotypes.
Reduction — reducing the amount of care work through public investment in infrastructure, including transport, water and electricity where necessary services and equipment are lacking.
Redistribution — sharing of care work between households and society, between men and women.
Representation — making carers capable to be included in relevant policy-making.
Reward — appropriate reward for care work.

But, I’m sure you’ll agree… at the outset, we need to address the social stigma. Unless we remove the narrative fallacy of what we pronounce “that’s women’s work”, we can’t visualize a change. So, that brings us back to the third R - Redistribution.

Dwelling from a family with clearly demarcated ground rules of male-breadwinner and female-homemaker, I’ve witnessed certain ridiculous attributes very often — men get over-appreciated for doing the bare minimum! These days around, we’re self-isolating and I was kind of helping Maa out in household chores, the minimal ones, as in some basic housekeeping or baking chapatis. And everyone bragged about it as if I had performed miracles! But when my sister does the work (which she does far better than me), it’s like she’s just supposed to know it, by virtue of her just being a girl! She doesn’t get her share of much-deserved appreciation or perhaps, I get it quite more than I actually deserve!

Nonetheless, this has to change, gradually and quite fundamentally, from within! If one gender is supposed to know a task, the other gender shouldn’t be over-decorated for performing the same. To bring out this change of thought, we, men, need to step up. And as they say — Never let a crisis go to waste! There is, indeed, a silver lining in India, where at least some men are stepping up during this pandemic, as an article in the Livemint notes that by April this year, the gap in unpaid care-work hours between men and women had decreased by 1 hour, owing to unemployed men contributing to domestic work.

Although it’s praiseworthy, as the ILO reports, it might still take us more than a century to bridge the gap! Indeed, a lot more needs to be done.

You see, dude, it’s not like men’re any more busy than the female counterparts. It’s all about priorities. We must realise that homemaking is as much of a male thing as it is female, or so to say, it’s a clapping-with-both-hands-kind-of-thing. So, the next time, do hell with your male ego, and step up to do the care work. Not for bragging, not for #socialmedia, but because homemaking is a joint-responsibility.

And yes — Mother deserves all the praise that she’s been devoid of all these years. Hesitate not to thank your mom everytime she cooks your delicious piece of meal or for anything of that sort. That’s so little in return of all her elbow grease! She demands not a single thing, she asks for nothing — a quintessential selfless entity! Give her a smile, your time, your love and she needs not a penny more! Cos you know, it’s the —

Labour of Love ❤️

So, come on guys, let’s do our fair share of care work and make the family and the economy more embracing for all :)

hey fellas, hope you loved reading today’s article. Hope I could bring about atleast some change in the way you look at things. I request you to share this article among your family and friends, and let them join our mission to make the world a beautiful place to live.

I would love to hear from you.

Gen Z's Words

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